The Weight of Guilt and Unresolved Emotions in Suicide Bereavement
By Caroline Harroe (Harmless CEO)
The experience of losing a loved one to suicide often brings a tumultuous wave of emotions, with guilt and a sense of unresolved feelings being among the most agonising. These emotions are complex, multifaceted and can profoundly affect the mourning process.
In the aftermath of a suicide, guilt tends to cast a pervasive shadow. Those left behind may find themselves besieged by questions like, ‘Could I have done more?’ or ‘Did I miss the signs?’ Such self-blame is a common component of suicide bereavement, turning the process of grief into one of guilt and regret. This guilt comes from a place of profound love and connection, where the bereaved wish they could have averted the tragic event.
Meanwhile, the lack of resolution or closure intensifies the sense of guilt. Suicide often leaves unanswered questions about why the loved one chose to end their life. This lack of understanding can make accepting the loss extremely difficult. Absent the opportunity for clarification, survivors are left with unresolved emotions, leading to what psychologists term ‘ambiguous loss’.
Such unresolved feelings can complicate the mourning process. The whirlwind of emotions may become an enormous burden, leaving the bereaved feeling alone, misunderstood or stigmatised.
The journey through suicide bereavement is indeed challenging. However, it’s crucial to remember that feelings of guilt and lack of resolution are normal responses to an abnormal event. By talking openly about these feelings and seeking professional support, the bereaved can begin to heal and make sense of their loss.
Efforts to end the stigma surrounding suicide and promote understanding of suicide bereavement are critical in assisting those in grief. Compassion, support and resources can be the stepping stones along a difficult path towards healing and reconciliation with loss.
If you have been bereaved by suicide and need support, you can make a referral here.
