Silent Nights: Navigating Loneliness Over Christmas
By Thomas Coyle (Clinical Support Worker)
For some, Christmas brings a time for much-needed relaxation and merry fun. Whether that be the Christmas lights, dancing to The Pogues or seeing family and friends, there can be lots for people to look forward to over the festive period.
However, for others Christmas can be a difficult time with many left feeling lonely or isolated. Loneliness is a perfectly natural human experience that can affect absolutely anyone, but it can also be exacerbated over the holiday period. Christmas can also often bring its own struggles such as financial worries, loss / grief, or just the dark and cold nights.
According to previous research, 23% of British people ‘felt lonely’ over Christmas with young adults and older people at particular risk. It suggested 25–34 years-olds represent the highest risk group, while a new study found that one million older people say they are more isolated over the festive period than at any other time of the year. It also found that 1.4 million people aged over 65 will be eating alone at Christmas. Research has also demonstrated that loneliness can increase the risk of mental health difficulties and is particularly associated with increased engagement of self harm in young people and an increased risk of suicide in all ages.
Therefore, this time of year can be difficult to navigate for a wide range of people. Isolation experienced over Christmas can amplify existing mental health difficulties or bring new struggles to the fore. Below are some tips that you may find helpful in navigating Christmas if you or someone you know is feeling isolated or lonely.
If someone you know is feeling isolated/lonely, you could:
- Share a gift or a card: It doesn’t need to be anything big or expensive – just a little card or a small gift (perhaps their favourite chocolate or snack?) can let someone know that you’re thinking of them.
- Check-in: Give that person a quick text, email or even a postcard and see how they’re doing. Checking-in may give that person the opportunity to talk about how they’re feeling or how they’ve been doing.
- Arrange a call: This can be so important for people to feel involved, seen and part of the festive activities, especially if they are away from loved ones at Christmas. It doesn’t need to take long – even 10 minutes can help someone feel less lonely around Christmas.
- Meet with them: If you can, try and meet with that person. This could be for a chat at the local café or popping by for a cup of tea or hot chocolate.
- Have a chat about it: It’s OK to chat about it. Just listening to someone, attempting to understand their feelings and how their loneliness makes them feel, could help someone with their struggles.
If you are feeling lonely, some things that may help:
- Connection: If you can, try to call a close friend, family member or workmate that you can chat to. Or maybe watch that film with a favourite character you can connect with. Or that book you can really get stuck into. Or that game that you can get lost in.
- Fresh Air: Although it can be difficult with the dark nights and the cold, try to go for a walk in a green space. Even spending 20 minutes outdoors can help clear the mind or give you a different environment in which to think about things.
- Community: Around Christmas time, there is often lots going on in the local community that you could get involved in. If it interests you, there may be a local choir or caroling service. Or maybe your place of worship could be a warm and welcoming place to visit. Alternatively, there maybe individuals in the community who meet over a cup of tea or coffee. Or even a group of like-minded people meeting online.
- Self-Compassion: This may look different for everyone but, if possible, take some time for you. This could be staying in bed all day, cooking, exercising, binge-watching a boxset, meeting a friend, playing a game or anything that brings you comfort. Christmas may bring pressure to attend family events, work parties etc, but if you feel you would rather stay at home, that’s OK as well.
- Helplines: If things get too difficult, and you need someone to talk to, there are organisations open every day of the year (including Christmas Day) you can contact. You can find a list of these organisations on Mind’s website here.
Regardless of who you are or how you are spending your Christmas, you or someone you know may feel isolated during this time. Even if it’s difficult, you are not alone. Remember to take time for both yourself and for others.
References
YouGov (2019, December 18). How does Christmas impact people’s mental health?. https://yougov.co.uk/health/articles/26954-christmas-harms-mental-health-quarter-brits
Age UK, (2019). Launches Christmas campaign with new research | Press release. https://www.ageuk.org.uk/latest-press/articles/2024/loneliness-research-christmas-campaign/#_edn1
Holt-Lunstad, J., Smith, T. B., Baker, M., Harris, T., & Cacioppo, J. T. (2015). Loneliness and social isolation as risk factors for mortality: A meta-analysis. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 10(2), 227-237.
Mind (2019). Christmas and Mental-Health. https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/christmas-and-mental-health/useful-contacts/
