By Michelle Cooney (Training Sales & Advertising Officer)
Motherhood is often painted as one of the happiest times in your life – glowing skin, overwhelming love, perfect moments. But for many women, the reality can feel very different. Behind the smiles and baby photos, there can be exhaustion, anxiety, guilt and a quiet sense of ‘Why don’t I feel how I’m supposed to?’
That’s why Maternal Mental Health Week (4th–11th May) , led by Perinatal Mental Health Partnership, matters so much. Held each May, it shines a light on the emotional and mental challenges that can come with pregnancy and the first year after birth – a time when support is needed most, but often hardest to ask for.
It’s more common than you think. This isn’t rare and it’s not just a few people struggling quietly. According to the NHS, around 1 in 5 women experience a mental health problem during pregnancy or within the first year after giving birth. This is also supported by research from Centre for Mental Health and the Maternal Mental Health Alliance.
Symptoms include:
- Feeling persistently low or tearful
- Constant worry or anxiety
- Struggling to bond with your baby
- Feeling overwhelmed or detached
- Having intrusive or scary thoughts
And yet, so many suffer in silence, worried they’ll be judged, or that asking for help somehow makes them a ‘bad mum’. It doesn’t. It helps you become one.
My own story is far from unusual. I remember sitting on the edge of my bed holding my baby, and instead of feeling joy, I felt numb. Everyone kept saying ‘enjoy every moment’ but I was just trying to get through the day. I didn’t tell anyone at first. I felt ashamed. I thought something must be wrong with me.
It wasn’t until I spoke to my health visitor that I realised I wasn’t alone and that what I was feeling had a name. Getting support didn’t make me a bad mum… it helped me become the mum my baby needed.
There is often a pressure to be ‘perfect’ and social media doesn’t help. We’re bombarded with filtered snapshots of motherhood featuring tidy homes, happy babies and mums who seem to have it all together.
But real life? Real life is messy. It’s sleepless nights, second guessing yourself and trying to hold everything together when you feel like you’re falling apart. It’s loving your child deeply, but still feeling lost in yourself.
It’s okay to have bad days – that’s part of life. But if those feelings don’t lift, or start to take over, it’s important to talk to someone.
You might need support if:
- You feel low or anxious most of the time
- You’re withdrawing from people
- You feel overwhelmed or unable to cope
- You’re not enjoying things you used to
- You feel disconnected from your baby or yourself
You don’t have to wait until things feel unbearable – you’re not alone and help is available. Support can come from many places including:
- Your GP or health visitor
- Local perinatal mental health services
Talking is a powerful first step, even if it feels like the hardest one.
For partners, friends and family, If someone you love is struggling, don’t underestimate the power of simply being there. Check in. Listen without fixing. Offer practical help. And remind them gently that often they’re doing better than they think.
Let’s change the conversation. Experiencing maternal mental health challenges isn’t a weakness. It’s not a failure. And it’s certainly not something to be ashamed of. It’s human. So this Maternal Mental Health Week, let’s be honest. Let’s speak up. Let’s support each other without judgement, without pressure and without pretending everything is okay when it’s not.
Because no mum should ever feel like she must struggle alone.
#MumsSupportingMums #StrongerTogether #MotherhoodUnfiltered
