Reflecting On My Childhood: Children’s Mental Health Week

By Božana Lončarević (Training & Education Officer)

This week, we observe Children’s Mental Health Week and its theme Know Yourself, Grow Yourself. This initiative – launched by children’s mental health charity Place2Be – aims to give a voice to all children and young people across the UK.

This year’s theme caused me to reflect on my own childhood and teenage years, as well as the most up-to-date research we have on children’s development and mental health. I thought about the insights I wish those around me had when I was growing up, the ones they could have shared with me or incorporated into their approach. Understanding these things earlier could have helped me make sense of myself and my behaviours, fostering greater self-acceptance and better mental well-being, especially during my adolescence.

Early Trauma Can Impact Learning
Learning is one of the most rewarding abilities humans possess. However, in modern education, where grades and high-stakes assessments play a major role, learning can also bring stress and anxiety. On top of this, adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) can make the learning process even more challenging, particularly in early life.

For example, research shows that toxic stress in childhood negatively impacts executive functions, the key cognitive skills needed for learning. Research also demonstrates that children who experience early adversity – such as neglect or toxic stress – often exhibit atypical brain responses to corrective feedback. When children without such experiences make a mistake and receive feedback, their brains show an almost immediate increase in electrical activity in the prefrontal cortex, indicating engagement with the correction. However, studies with foster children have found that those with a history of early adversity do not exhibit this typical spike in brain activity, suggesting that the feedback is not being processed in the expected way.

This is significant because responsiveness to corrective feedback is a key trait that teachers and caregivers often associate with a child’s ability and – more importantly – willingness to learn. When children struggle to respond appropriately to feedback, it may be misinterpreted as disobedience, inattentiveness or an unwillingness to learn, when in fact their brains may not be processing the feedback effectively. When I first read these findings, it made me think of so many children (myself included) who were often negatively labelled as unwilling to engage. Although in reality this is likely far from the truth, it has the potential to cause subsequent negative associations with learning driven by anxiety, shame and fear which ultimately undermine children’s mental well-being.

Misreading Emotions
Throughout evolutionary history, emotions have been crucial for survival, guiding both humans and animals in responding to their environment. Fear and anxiety help detect and escape threats, while positive emotions reinforce behaviours that promote safety, social bonding and well-being. These instinctive responses have shaped our ability to navigate the world and adapt to challenges. They continue to play a crucial role in many aspects of life, especially in social interactions, which are key to overall well-being. Recognising emotional expressions is essential for effective communication, and we develop this ability very early in life.

However, for children who experience ACEs, it has been found that emotional recognition tends to function slightly differently compared to those without such experiences. Research suggests that these children identify fearful expressions more quickly and are more likely to interpret ambiguous faces as angry or threatening.

When I first learning this, something clicked – it explained why, even as an adult, I often feel like people are annoyed or angry with me all the time (even though we can all be annoying at times!). I wish I had known this earlier as it would have helped me more easily navigate social situations and realise that my fears weren’t always grounded in truth. More importantly, I wish that the people around me had understood that I wasn’t just introverted or unwilling to speak up, but that I was anxious and feeling unwanted. That understanding could have made a huge difference in my well-being and mental health, potentially leading to better life choices and outcomes.

The Brain Can Heal
After learning about the negative effects of ACEs on cognitive and emotional development as well as well-being, it is equally important to highlight that these effects can be reversed. The brain has an amazing ability to rewire and recover, particularly during adolescence (another critical period of cognitive, social and emotional growth).

This is especially important because adolescence is also a time when young people engage in more risk-taking behaviours, especially for teens with a history of adversity. As a result, they may be more likely to experience punishment, social rejection or substance use, rather than receiving the support needed to make the healthier life choices that are crucial for their cognitive and emotional development as well as their long-term well-being. However, if young people understand that this is a time when they are still developing and their brains are highly plastic and susceptible to change, they may be more likely to seek and accept support.

It is equally important for caregivers, educators and professionals to recognise the power they have in offering guidance and support during this period of a young person’s life. I firmly believe I would have made different choices in my adolescence if I had better understood why I was prone to certain behaviours and why I felt the way I did. This could have allowed me to work on reversing the negative effects of my adverse childhood experiences, giving me both the support and empowerment to make better decisions.

One Supportive Adult Can Make a Difference
‘It takes a village to raise a child’. This proverb emphasises the role of community in creating a nurturing environment where children can thrive. However, for children who experience ACEs, research shows that just one stable, caring and supportive adult can make a profound difference in shaping positive life outcomes even in the face of adversity.

Looking back, I now realise that for me, that one person was my grandmother. She was my safe haven, my secure attachment, my source of resilience, and my role model for empathy and guidance. Everything an entire village could provide, I received from her. And even though she lacked the formal knowledge discussed above, she did an incredible job simply by being present, protective and loving. However, if she had access to this knowledge, it could have helped her better understand me and perhaps would have made an even greater impact. I was also fortunate to have had some amazing teachers who supported both me and my grandmother along the way.

This is why professionals working with children must recognise the power they hold – they may be the only supportive adult in a child’s life. Teachers, counsellors, social workers and mentors should know that their presence, care and encouragement can be truly life changing.