Breaking the Silence: Why We Need to Talk About Menopause and Mental Health

By Vicky Lott (Training & Education Officer)

My story – what brought me to where I am today
Before my own menopause journey, I feared it, believing it meant becoming old and useless, a narrative that’s perpetuated by a media and society that values youth over wisdom. At 52, I endured unrecognised perimenopausal symptoms like insomnia, aching joints and brain fog and I attributed them to aging, just as my GP did. In 2021, personal and professional challenges led to a very severe depression and I contemplated taking my own life. Antidepressants had failed, and my GP was blocking my HRT prescription from a specialist. I was coping with debilitating symptoms, redundancy and empty nest syndrome. I lost hope and didn’t want to carry on because I couldn’t see how my life could improve. In a cry for help I staged a sit-in at my GP practice and refused to leave until someone issued me with my HRT prescription. Thankfully they wanted to remove the wailing woman in the waiting room enough that someone finally did.

Within 2 weeks I felt like my old self again. I regained resilience, advocated for myself and began rebuilding my life. I realised my experiences had explanations, I wasn’t alone and I wasn’t a failure.

From that point on I wanted to know why I’d been feeling so physically and mentally unwell; why had it been so difficult to access the care I’d so clearly needed? Never one to be told ‘That’s just the way it is’, I started to ask questions and do my own research. This was at a time when other women – celebrities included – were starting to ask the same questions and the noise around menopause was increasing.

I became a licensed Menopause Champion and learned about the effects oestrogen, and the lack of it, has upon our bodies. I also discovered that there was very little research around the topic. It incensed me that it was just one of those things women were expected to put up with. How many other women had been driven to wanting to end their lives, or had ended their life because they weren’t being listened to? The more I read, the more I learned and the more upset I became. There was all this noise in the media about how debilitating menopause was but it didn’t appear to be filtering through to the people that could help – the medical profession.

Where I am today – as I write this post
When I joined Harmless in 2023 I wanted to bring that noise with me. Here was an organisation dedicated to supporting people who feel they have no support. By sharing my story and the stories of others we could actually make a difference. I discovered that suicide peaks for both men and women in mid-life, something I hadn’t been aware of before. Could there be a link? I started to look more carefully at what was going on and to understand those links.

I love my job as a Training and Education Officer, it allows me to help people understand mental health and support others, which is so rewarding. I knew I had to develop a specialist training course around Menopause, Mental Health and Suicide. It took longer than anticipated due to an accident that put me out of action for six months but when I finally launched it with my colleagues here at Harmless, the feedback was incredibly moving and truly overwhelming. They shared stories of relationship breakdowns they’d had and wanted to repair; they told me about conversations they now wanted to have and support they wanted to give.

These were people who understood mental health, had their own experiences with it, yet knew and understood very little about what menopause truly meant for the women in their lives. If I could help them understand, then I knew I was on the right path.

Now I’ve had their overwhelming approval, Harmless will be launching its Menopause and Mental Health training during Menopause Awareness month in October.

‘I didn’t expect to connect with the content so deeply, but it truly resonated with me. I found myself reflecting on the women in my life who may have unknowingly experienced these symptoms without ever linking them to menopause. I’ll be shouting far and wide about what I’ve learned from this training. The impact you’ll have on women and the support they receive will be profound’

‘Your insight helped me make sense of things in a way I truly appreciated’

‘I had an amazing chat with my mum afterwards and that wouldn’t have been possible without you!’

‘Your passion for education and change is clear and I look forward to seeing the impact this training will have on so many lives!’

Do you have women in your life you’d like to better support and understand? Would you know where to begin? Whether it’s a personal or professional relationship, we all have women we care for so be sure to book onto our Menopause and Mental Health course that will be coming very soon…