By Helen Birch (Training & Education Officer)
Every year, as the calendar turns, we’re encouraged to embrace the mantra: ‘New Year, New You’. It’s marketed as a fresh start, a chance to reinvent ourselves, take on new goals, and leave behind anything we feel hasn’t served us. But at Harmless, we take a more compassionate and realistic view.
Yes, the New Year can be a wonderful moment to reflect and reset, but it can also pile on the pressure. For many people, this message implies that who they are now isn’t enough, or that they must make dramatic changes to be worthy of a ‘better’ version of themselves.
In reality, sustainable wellbeing doesn’t come from sweeping resolutions. It comes from realistic expectations, compassionate support, and achievable steps forward.
Understanding the Landscape of Mental Health Today
To appreciate why realistic goal-setting matters, we need to acknowledge the wider context of mental health in the UK:
- 1 in 5 children and young people are living with a probable mental health condition.
- Over 90% of adults experience high levels of stress.
- Mental health shapes our emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing, affecting how we think, feel, and act.
- Gender plays a role too:
- Women often carry more caring responsibilities.
- Men are three times more likely to use substances as a coping strategy.
- Gender non-conforming individuals face a significantly higher risk of suicidal thoughts, behaviours, and actions.
These numbers aren’t just statistics, they’re reminders that people are carrying very real, very heavy burdens as they step into a new year. And with that in mind, asking someone to completely reinvent themselves on 1st January can feel not only unrealistic but unfair.
The Power of Compassionate Connection
While the challenges are real, so are the opportunities for positive change, and many of them are simpler than we might think.
1. Reaching In Matters
We often talk about ‘reaching out’ for help, but what about reaching in? Checking on someone, offering a listening ear, or simply noticing when a colleague or friend seems overwhelmed can be transformative. Many of us have already supported, or even saved someone without ever realising it, simply by showing genuine care and presence.
2. Safety Plans Save Lives
When someone is in crisis, long-term solutions aren’t always what they need. A safety plan can help a person navigate immediate danger by focusing on what will keep them safe right now. Small steps, steady support, and accessibility are often more impactful than sweeping changes.
3. Language Shapes Stigma
The words we use every day contribute to the environments we create. Compassionate, stigma-free language can help build spaces where people feel safe, understood, and supported.
Why Realistic Goals Are Essential – Especially At This Time of Year
New Year’s resolutions often fail because they’re built on comparison, pressure, and the belief that we must transform quickly and dramatically. But real growth is personal. It’s slow. It’s intentional. And it’s rooted in self-compassion.
This year, instead of asking yourself to become a ‘new you’, consider:
- What small change would feel achievable?
- What goal reflects your needs, not other people’s expectations?
- What would be positive and empowering, rather than punishing or overwhelming?
Your journey is your own, and you don’t have to measure it against anyone else’s.
Stepping Into 2026 With Kindness and Clarity
As we close out 2025 and look toward a new year, let’s shift the narrative. Let’s focus on:
- realistic steps
- compassionate support
- the understanding that growth doesn’t need to be dramatic to matter
Whether you set a resolution, choose a single goal, or simply take each day as it comes, make space for gentleness in the process.
You are not required to become a ‘new you’.
You are allowed to grow, heal, learn, and move forward at your own pace.
And that – truly – is more than enough.
