By Helen Birch (Trainer)
I had forgotten the power of human touch, and how healing and releasing it can be, until I was recently lucky enough to be gifted a full hour massage for my birthday. This was my first ever massage that was solely about me as my previous two had both been during pregnancies!
Me, I… those are concepts many of us can struggle with. Phrases like ‘I am important’ and ‘I do a, b or c just for me’ can make you shudder or snort, or inwardly think ‘I am no-one, nor do I deserve’.
Physical human touch is another element of life that we can often struggle with for many different reasons. Physical touch for some can lead to a sensory overload or shutdown: hypersensitivity for example, where a light touch – or any touch for that matter – can be painful.
Sometimes we don’t want a human touch, as we may fear our reaction to it. We may be at a point on our journey where that touch would release something we are not ready for. We may fear that if we start to let out what is inside, we may not be able to stop it, and that we may be stuck with our internal torment, pain and distress forever. It creates a vulnerability or highlights what we perceive as a weakness in us. It is not a weakness, but can absolutely feel like one, often due to perceived stigma from previous experiences around the language that is sadly often used to describe distress, trauma or mental ill health.
Removing human touch and contact has been (and still is) used as a form of punishment within many institutions. We are aware that as humans we need contact with others because we are social beings. Too often we see the devastating effects of exclusion and isolation. History has shown the consequences of being isolated and touch deprived, yet sadly we continue this practice. I will address this in a future blog as it is a subject which requires levels of reflection that cannot be adequately addressed within this piece.
Human touch has a myriad of benefits for us. Physically it can slow our heartbeat, lower blood pressure, calm the nervous centre, reduce pain and lower cortisol (the stress hormone) while also increasing oxytocin (the love hormone). Psychologically it can increase feelings of safety, security and increased wellbeing, which is an integral part of our mental health. Lower wellbeing can negatively affect our mental health, while increased wellbeing promotes mental health recovery factors.
Our wellbeing is an essential element to our overall physical and mental health. Mental health is a basic human right, although it is far more complex than this and exists on a continuum. Wellbeing is integrally intertwined within our mental health as it encompasses how we see ‘me’ or ‘I’ and how we realise our own innate abilities and potential within our community and the wider world.
Having human touch can help us on our journey to improved wellbeing by releasing tension and connecting us to the ‘I’ within. That is certainly what I experienced, but it’s also not a panacea.
I laid down on the massage table full of tension, uncertainty and a touch of trepidation. It takes a lot to be in such a vulnerable position, fully in another’s hands (literally!). At first it can be difficult to really relax, to stop your mind from going to all sorts of places that are random, senseless and unhelpful. But slowly – with help from the professionalism of the massage therapist – the body starts to release, to slow, to clear itself from the world. A reconnection starts to occur, a reconnection that is long overdue, a reconnection with ‘me’ and ‘I’. A wave of peace rolled over me and for the first time in a very long time I let go – let go of everything within my mind. My body followed suit and it was so powerful.
After the treatment was finished, you are left to rest and come back to the world. You ready yourself to walk back into your life again, and this is when it hit me and started to cry. But this was part of the process, the final release created during the act of human touch.
In that hour I found ‘me’ and a me that I liked and could work with, a me that has given so much more than I ever thought possible. It has given me the permission to shut off sometimes and to take care of myself. As I said before, it is not a panacea to life’s internal battles, but it is a big step towards a life with increased wellbeing and self-worth – and that is priceless.
So be kind to yourself, hold someone’s hand, give a hug, get your nails done, go for a head massage or hot towel treatment at the barbers. Remember you deserve to know the ‘I’ within and please never think you’re not worth it because you are. You are precious and powerful.
___________________________________________________
(WHO. Mental Health. 2022. https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/mental-health-strengthening-our-response#:~:text=Mental%20health%20is%20a%20state,Determinants%20of%20mental%20health
Packheiser, J., Hartmann, H., Fredriksen, K. et al. A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of the physical and mental health benefits of touch interventions. Nat Hum Behav 8, 1088–1107 (2024). https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-024-01841-8
