In the first of a series of blogs in the run-up to this year’s Self Harm Awareness Day on Saturday 1st March, our colleague Dylan Thomas (Therapist) looks at how self harm is a burden we all share.
Many people, unfortunately, feel alone when they are in emotional pain, and many people report that it feels as though it is only happening to them. A commonly held belief among those who seek support for self harm is that they are broken beyond repair. However, this is not the case. In fact, in this short blog post, we will attempt to show that self harm is not a ‘you’ problem but a burden we all share together as humans and animals.
Firstly, self harm is not limited to you, and it is not even limited to our species. 1 in 14 people self harm at some stage in their life and 1 in 5 people have suicidal thoughts (Mind 2025). Another example is other animals who self harm and die by suicide (Dellinge-Ness & Handler, 2006). Although researchers cannot ask other animals how they feel, the common reasons animals self harm and die by suicide are – like humans – stress, grief, genetic predispositions, isolation, distress and early neglect.
Why is this important? It is important because humans are not alone in dealing with difficult emotions, which means we should not shame ourselves as individuals if we turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms like self harm. It tells us that humans, along with other animals, share some of the same biology, emotions and brain structures that see self harm as a viable solution to our emotional distress. We would not deny a chimpanzee medical care for self harm or tell that same chimpanzee that he or she was weak for turning to self harm. It shows us that just like other animals, humans are fallible to hurtful feelings and coping methods. Therefore, we should not shame those in our communities who turn to self harm in the same way. We should help them to understand that self harm and its underlying biological mechanisms are something every one of us has the potential to fall victim to.
Secondly, we can use compassion to help re-frame self harm and our relationship to it. I’ve worked with many clients who self harm. Most people don’t want to, yet some may have a mixed relationship with self harm and find positive aspects that they feel help them. But for the most part, many people wish to stop self harming. However, our brains and minds are tricky. For example, Gilbert (2010) talks about how our brain evolved for survival and detecting threats. Brain structures like the amygdala alert us to all the bad things in life. Unlike other animals, these threats can be uniquely human and build up. In other words, we are the only animals that must worry about paying bills, social status, getting a job, our physical appearance and fitness. Let alone more acute threats such as war, terrorism, social inequality, violence and so on. This means we have the hardware for detecting threats in a world and system that is more stressful than ever.
Self harm is not just an individual problem but also one for the societies we live in. Given that stress, isolation and distress are such major drivers of self harm, what are governments and health systems doing to make society less stressful and more inclusive for the average person? If we would not blame an animal for self harming, why would we blame a young person who is isolated and misunderstood by the healthcare system? If we cannot change our society, we should also not blame ourselves for turning to coping mechanisms – this is bringing compassion to ourselves.
In the words of Professor Paul Gilbert, ‘Our mental well-being is not our fault, but it is our responsibility to try and change it for the better’ (2010). Therefore, if we could all be more accepting of ourselves without blaming or shaming, we can start taking steps towards finding new ways of being that might see a future beyond self harm.
If you or someone you know needs support for self harm, please contact us.
For further information on Self Harm Awareness Day 2025, please click here.
References
Dellinge-Ness, L.A. and Handler, L., 2006. Self-injurious behavior in human and non-human primates. Clinical psychology review, 26(5), pp.503-514.
Mind 2025. ‘Mental health facts and statistics’ available at: https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/mental-health-facts-and-statistics/ ( accessed on 17/02/2025)
Gilbert, P., 2014. The origins and nature of compassion focused therapy. British journal of clinical psychology, 53(1), pp.6-41.
