Ahead of Self Harm Awareness Day on 1st March, Harmless therapist Alicja Zwiercan reflects on the power of looking within.
Our busy, contemporary society prioritises apparency and looking outside of ourselves. It enjoys high speed and leaves us with ever-changing images of days that pass quickly and vanish in the sea of endless imposed or self-imposed tasks. The expectations are high – achieve more, look good, act happy, seem fulfilled. Such pressure is an equal burden on those who strive to participate in the game as for those who don’t feel they can keep up. Conditions on our worth can be a painful trap regardless of the self-perceived success.
The high-performance world favours looking outwards. Early in our social upbringing we are taught to play and work with others, participate in events, respect elders and make new friends. How very easily do these otherwise important skills and qualities become the primary – if not the only – measures of worth? We know that satisfying interactions with people are an important constituent of one’s happiness and that loneliness can become a factor of risk. But it is so easy to feel completely dependent on our social interactions and feel very stuck if these are, for the present, not thriving.
Looking inwards for comfort, discovery and relational warmth is not always a popular or an immediate notion. Nonetheless, it offers the promise of an adventure and a wealth of information of its own kind. Who are we inside? Are we one or many voices? What are the conversations, disputes and altercations that live and move endlessly in this ever-flowing, underground stream suspended somewhere between body and mind? Some of these voices may be loud, dominant and easy to recognise. Others might be much quieter, dressed in disguise or completely unanticipated. With their varying ages, genders, stories and preferences, they all whisper words that want to be heard.
There is aliveness, vigour and force inside. Sometimes there will be anger and grief, for those reasons that are obvious and for those that can now only glimmer faintly as they were long forlorn. This is where the true relationship is born: from compassion, sensitivity or the genuine curiosity about the other. Such endeavour asks for courage and patience. Some resilience will also be called for, but the prize is high. Swirling and dancing in the depths of the in-between, given time and space to be, newly emerged entities rise and grow to be the new you. All it takes is a minute of silence.
If you or someone you know needs support for self harm, please contact us.
For further information on Self Harm Awareness Day 2025, please click here.
